So Done With This

this winter has been the nasty nastiest winter in kc in a long while, at least as far as i am concerned. we've been getting snow/ice/freezing rain/sleet about once a week for months now and i'm pretty well over it. i'm currently seeking a winter home in the cayman islands or perhaps elba. i have no money to pay for this home, so i am looking for a financial sponsor. also, if you have a plane to transport me to and fro, that would be great. i am willing to provide you with art historical knowledge, read books for you, and get a tan on your behalf. once i've received a few offers of places i'll go ahead and make a decision and let you all know where i'll be next winter. stay tuned.

On the Second Day of Valentine's My True Love Gave to Meeee...

pete decided that, on top of the lovely sexy chat you see below, he would send me two days of presents for valentine's. i kind of did the same...on his day one he got some books and dark chocolate, and on his day two he got six chocolate covered strawberries. consequently i made him gain 3 pounds, but he loved it. but for my day one (actual valentine's, whereas his day one was back on tuesday) i got a dozen light pink roses mixed with baby's breath. totally gorgeous, and the by far most fragrant flowers i've ever gotten. then, on day two (if you're keeping up with this, that was today), i came home to a nice small package from fedex. tore it open, opened another little box, opened a plastic bag, and found a gorgeous silver necklace wrapped up inside for me. totally gorgeous, i'm wearing it to work tomorrow. he may be rather strange with his sexy chats, but the man knows how to spoil a girl - he has now picked out four pieces of jewelry for me, each one of which has been an out-of-the-park hit. if any man happens to read this blog, take note. this is how it's done.

Happy Valentine's From the Reverend

Pete: we can sexy chat, then
cyber?
me: oh sure
Pete: whee !
I slowly tickle the back of your knee....
me: that's an interesting start
Pete: ha
then......
I do a color change on your toe nails..
burgundy red
me: nice....
Pete: then I slowly move up...and put your hair in pig tails.
me: i am your doll now?
Pete: I apply base, then rouge and lipstick.
then i ever so slowly... .put a watch on your wrist (ohhhh yeaa)
me: you are definitely nuts
Pete: ha
I gently stencil my name in Henna ink across your lower back.
too much?
fawn :(
me: no i like the henna
Pete: I then bend you over....and arrange various slices of oranges, apples, kiwis, and pineapple in a star pattern on your bare skin.
me: i think you need to get to the doctor sooner rather than later
Pete: I then take two bagels (one sun dried tomato, one wheat), slice them into bite size pieces, and rain them down upon us both.
me: sounds very breakfasty of us
Pete: a piece of cheesecake materializes....I put half the piece in your mouth...and the other I put aside for later.
Bringing forth a pack of Sour Patch Kids, I arrange a bonanza of flavors in your luxurious hair.
me: i'm going to publish this on my blog
Pete: Absorbed with passion, you tear my shirt clean off.....whereupon a turkey sandwich and a dill pickle slice (both of which I'd been saving for a late afternoon snack) pour out.
You delicately yet forcefully draw a smiley face in mustard on my chest, then accent it with a ketchup hairdo, reminiscent of Raggedy Andy. We chuckle about Raggedy Andy.
me: you're certifiable
Pete: I take two Jelly Belly jelly beans (both popcorn flavor, of course), and insert them ever....so....slowly....into your ears.
Then I sing the Canadian National Anthem, though you cannot hear and do not understand my marching about.
As my excitement builds, I tear into a box of Fire Roasted Garlic Triscuits and toss them, from a distance of seven feet, across the room at you....with every hit I shudder with lust.
You Scream my name aloud!! I....apologize for an errant triscuit toss into your right eye.
We then steamily embrace atop bagel pieces, turkey, dill pickle, sour patch kids, triscuits, the saved piece of cheesecake, ketchup, and mustard; we then launch into an A Capella version of Scott Joplin's "The Entertainer"
Both thoroughly spent, we dress in matching grey overcoats, oversized sunglasses, galoshes, and exit to play in the rain.
[The Fulfilling End]
Was it good for you?
me: wonderful
i'm really going to publish this

Allergies?

i think i am allergic to life. there cannot possibly be any allergies going around outside as the temperature is currently nipplefreezing frigid, so i don't know why i have dry, watery eyes and a stuffy nose (i am a benadryl commercial). people at work raised the possibility that it's all the dry indoor heating i'm currently experiencing everywhere i go, which is a distinct possibility, combined with dustiness. all i know is, it sucks. i am actually chafing the skin under my eyes from rubbing them so vigorously in their dry dryness as they water uncontrollably (riddle me how that works). anyway, this wraps up yet another post about my physical conditions, i know you're enthralled. let's just say that the things i would LIKE to write about are probably not the best things to write about (i would like to not be dooced, thanks), so i am taking the moral high road and whining. you're welcome.

Down Off

i didn't really mention this in all my description of the cleaning extravaganza yesterday, but my #2 job called and said because of the crummy weather i wasn't really needed, so i actually got a day off yesterday! HOOrah! and then, again because of the weather, i got the evening off again tonight! HOOOOOOrah! so while yesterday was spent being productive, tonight was spent eating breakfast for dinner at my sister's house, giving my niece her birthday presents a week late, and watching my nephew get a bath/trying to balance rubber duckies on his head. now my hair smells like bacon, i have gained 67 pounds eating bacon, belgian waffles, and biscuits (what an alliterative dinner), and i left my niece with her new continents puzzle proclaiming that NORF AMERICA! IS WHERE WE LIVE! AMTARTICA! IS WHERE HAPPY FEET LIVES! SOUF AMERICA! wait what lives in souf america? ANACONDAS! THEY LIVE IN THE WATER! THIS IS RUROPE! AND THE BIG BLUE ONE! (asia) AUSTRALIA! I LIKE KOALAS! that should keep my sister and brother-in-law entertained for the next couple days.

So Shiny

in about two hours today i overhauled our gritty apartment. with all old, beat-up (but rich in character) wood flooring, grit just kind of is a permanent entity in the house. combine that with constant snow, ice, gravel, and salting outside, our floors were in pretty rough shape. after wiping down the kitchen and dusting the living room, i decided to go ahead and vaccuum the whole shebang. then, after getting that far, i figured i may as well go ahead and go the distance and pull out the murphy's. an hour later and two angry trapped cats staring at me sullenly from our sunroom and i had a freshly mopped apartment and room. it's so beautiful.

Miss Sixty

as of today, i have hit about sixty hours of work for the week (from last monday to this sunday). i actually feel ok after all of this besides some minor ailments: due to being in retail in both of my jobs, a lot of standing has been involved and therefore a sore back and tense shoulders have come in to play. earlier in the week i got shin splints, which are not so much fun. and i'm just kind of tired. but i'm not done yet. starting tomorrow til next sunday, i'll be working about fifty more hours before my next day off (next sunday). send me positive vibes. and maybe some more supportive shoes. or a chair.