i have been known to panic myself into psychosomatic symptoms. the week my brother-in-law died, i had bronchitis and managed to combine that with a panic attack to end up in the ER, convinced i couldn't breathe. a breathing treatment and some time to calm down later and it was revealed that there was nothing wrong with my ability to breathe besides my ability to panic myself into not breathing.
last night i fell into a similar pattern. my throat had been sore all night and getting progressively tighter as the night progressed. at about 11:30 i tried to go to sleep, but laying down made me feel like it was almost closing, which pushed me into panicking (i know i'm panicking when i get really hot across my face, i breathe faster, and my heart starts to race). i tried for a full hour to calm myself by various methods: watching tv, reading, putting a hot cloth against my throat to relax the muscles, talking to myself...no go. i got to the point that i knew that i would not be able to sleep til i had a professional evaluate me and calm me mentally so i could be calm physically, so i got myself all dressed and headed to the nearest ER at the ku medical center.
i have never been to a downtown emergency room, and compared to my experiences at an overland park and a south kc emergency room, there were many quickly evident differences. for one, i had to walk through a metal detector and get my bag searched just to get in to the ER. a tad intimidating. i was the only white girl there, and once admitted to triage was put through the usual questions of age, symptoms, and when my last period was (how this affects my sore throat i don't know). but then the triage nurse asked me if i had done any drugs lately ("coke, dope, meth?") in a very monotone voice - she may as well have asked if i tied my shoes this morning, by her tone of voice. after that she asked if i was in a domestic abuse relationship, in the same tone of voice. never been asked either of those, and it just made me wonder what kind of answers she hears through the nights there.
once admitted i spent a long time waiting, talking to my nurse howard, talking to my doctor, and fighting my gag reflexes as they tested and tried to look for strep throat. i also watched the style network on my in-room tv as i waited. and waited. finally they decided that i pretty much had strep, and that this called for a shot of antibiotics to knock it out. i pulled my sleeve up only to hear howard apologetically tell me that we were going into the hip for this one. he did not warn me, however, how much pain i was in for. he just told me that the medicine was "very thick, and there is a lot of it," so i prepared myself merely for the needle prick. that was nothing compared to the searing but dull pain that took over my whole hip and butt as he pushed the medicine into me for a solid 2-3 minutes. i was white-knuckled and crying by the end of it. then i was told that i needed to walk around to work it in, so i hobbled around my room, crying, trying to work through the pain. finally it got somewhat bearable, and i was discharged. the whole saga, start to finish, took about 1.5 hours at the ER.
i went home and got ice cream to soothe my throat temporarily and was finally able to pass out. today has been spent in bed and hobbling around the apartment feeling like i have been stabbed in the hip/ass. if his aim was to distract me from the pain in my throat by stabbing my hip, howard succeeded.
**Editor's Note: i am fully aware that this picture makes many of my best friends cringe in horror, especially my illustrious boyfriend, but i really have been poppin my collar since....well, since i became a tried and true wellesley woman and it became part of the code of honor of the wellesley sisterhood. plus i look haht. don't deny.
on a lighter note, i'm not sure what this forecast imagery signifies, cnn, but i think i like it.
once admitted i spent a long time waiting, talking to my nurse howard, talking to my doctor, and fighting my gag reflexes as they tested and tried to look for strep throat. i also watched the style network on my in-room tv as i waited. and waited. finally they decided that i pretty much had strep, and that this called for a shot of antibiotics to knock it out. i pulled my sleeve up only to hear howard apologetically tell me that we were going into the hip for this one. he did not warn me, however, how much pain i was in for. he just told me that the medicine was "very thick, and there is a lot of it," so i prepared myself merely for the needle prick. that was nothing compared to the searing but dull pain that took over my whole hip and butt as he pushed the medicine into me for a solid 2-3 minutes. i was white-knuckled and crying by the end of it. then i was told that i needed to walk around to work it in, so i hobbled around my room, crying, trying to work through the pain. finally it got somewhat bearable, and i was discharged. the whole saga, start to finish, took about 1.5 hours at the ER. 
they were accompanied by a bottle of my favorite wine, one of my favorite scented candles burning, and a little pile of presents. he even made the bed. figuring i needed some pampering after the nine hour drive, he poured me a glass of wine and i set to doing my favorite thing: opening presents. i got a beautiful new scarf, a really sweet compact mirror, and a loofah with a puppy sponge on it that i named tiger. to say i am spoiled is an understatement.
fried egg, cheese, and bacon on a sundried tomato bagel. made of awesome. a trip to the mall and a nail salon later and then it was home for him to once again spoil me by fixing me dinner at home. he made his specialty, marinated baked chicken, with rice, potatoes, and asparagus, accompanied by a side of french bread. we stuffed ourselves and then, after some relaxing, headed out with his roommate and his date to a bar to play pool and have drinks for a couple hours. my cough flared up at the bar and held strong through the night, to the point that i dragged pete to the grocery store at 2 a.m. to get something to help. i went with the new mucinex extra strength, took one, and passed out. did i have a reaction? did i float off into oblivion? did the cough stop? tune in tomorrow when i finish my tales of another weekend in memphis.
mucinex, a citrus c monster odwalla smoothie (2000% dv vitamin c), nighttime airborne (1667% dv vitamin c), and good old-fashioned water. and here is my reaction to the airborne (it's effervescent! and hot apple cider "flavored"! sounds good, right? NO. a thousand times NO.)
disgusting.
how i feel about life right now. with the large exception of my reverend, life is not so awesome sometimes. ready for a change.
as i had named phil, and huggerton came to me pre-named, i put naming duties on the rev this time. in honor of sir edmund hillary and his passing today, pete chose edmund, which i think fits in well with phil and huggerton. edmund and i have been snuggling all night, and he has brought me much comfort with his cushy softness. largely as a pillow, but comfort nonetheless. the only moment of minor discomfort he brought me was the fact that he was delivered to me at work today, leaving me to exit work to many stares and strange looks - apparently it is not normal to leave a preeminent cultural institution with a teddy bear firmly snuggled under the crook of your arm. but i soldiered on and got him home, and i think he's happy here.
i covered most other high points in the other post, so we'll skip ahead to new year's eve. after spending about half the day at his office with a brief pause for mcdonald's, we headed for another oft-visited locale for us: the botanical gardens. it was a simply gorgeous 63 degree day in memphis, so we took advantage and took a long walk around the garden.
pete found a dinosaur. after that luxurious walk, we headed to the grocery store and then home to prepare a tray of bruschetta for the new year's eve party at his parents' house and to beautify. we pretty much turned out hott, as you can see. 
after spending some time eating a bunch in germantown, we headed out to meet up with another couple to head to the new year's eve extravaganza at the peabody hotel in downtown memphis. (see how i purposely did not tell you where we were going to be in that other post? i didn't want so many adoring fans to show up.) met up with them, headed downtown, and partied it up...cowboy mouth and lord t & eloise performed, along with a DJ which made for some good dancing. we had literally a movie-moment new year's, a moment i have been consistently reliving for the past few days. there was a loud countdown from the crowd packed around us in front of lord t & eloise, followed by a balloon drop at the stroke of midnight and us pretty much wrapped up in each other as the balloons muffled all the noise around us and everyone nearby went nuts. i tried to catch the moment but for some reason i must have been distracted, putting off my aim:
either way, it was magical. after midnight was declared, we danced for another hour and a half and enjoyed the party, including witnessing some couple drama (pete) and getting randomly hit on (me) when abandoned momentarily. we finally made it home and to bed, not waking up til 11 on new year's day. we had a nice quiet day, grabbing lunch with dupont & lori again and running to germantown to say bye to the reverend and mrs. reverend senior. then it was off to the airport. this is never my best time, and i held true to my regular breaking down into a sniffling mess upon being forced to go through security. he had to literally push me over to the start of the line. hate it. another happy pill and blurry trip home later, and i passed out cold only for a twelve-hour work day yesterday and a nine.five-hour work day today. then i went shopping and blew my xmas gift cards, am now doing laundry and enjoying my sage & citrus candle from yankee candle, and listening to the rev's new playlist feature. all-in-all an absolutely perfect, relaxing trip as always with nary a dull moment and zero unhappy ones (disregarding the whole having to leave memphis thing). ready to head back at any time.
